as far as the eye can see

1. FOMA stealing a beehive. Crashing thru snowdrifts, bees swarm around him, stinging his face. What a knucklehead! he says.

2. Closeup of his face, determined and pleased with himself. I know where he will not find me at all! A bee is stinging his eye. His shoe is careening off.

3. Leaps into a puddle, disappearing except for his bare foot and a stream of angry bees.

4. The puddle, with his shoe next to it and hovering bees.

5. His forehead emerges from the puddle.

6. He sits up in the puddle, covered with mud and bees, and begins sucking honey from his hands a la Pooh bear. Bees take up stinging his ears and neck again. What a baffled old knucklehead! he says.

7. Ahoy Alnus! says Afanasy, waving from his wagon. The wheel is off. Afanasy and Haji-Girei are poking around in the grass. Silhouette of Alnus in the background.

8. What’s this. says Alnus, cupping his hands to his mouth. Wheel off. they yell back. Need wood. Monak the dog comes pounding over.

9. Monak arrives, knocking the wagon over. Wood splinters everywhere.

10. Anna saunters over, kicking the remnants of the wagon, and clothes. Where’s your honey, sweetheart? It’s here. Says Afanasy. Sure isn’t, says Haji-Girei.

11. How hard is it to build this again? asks Alnus, sitting on Monak. I can’t imagine, says Afanasy, It’s from China. Anna says There’s no way this moth-eaten wreck was from China. Haji-Girei is scratching his head: where did Foma end up?

12. I think Foma is hiding underneath the broken pieces of the wagon, he’s scared. Says Afanasy. Foma is sitting in a freezing cold puddle, eating your honey and being stung by your bees. Says Anna.

13. Foma is unrecognizable beneath all of the bee stings and mud. He is lying on his side, moaning.
There is an enormous bear sniffing curiously in the distance. This is the best day of my life. He says.

14. Afanasy is hammering a sign into the ground, made of pieces of the wagon. YOU’RE FIRED YOU IDIOT. Haji-Girei and Anna are heaving the remains into Alnus’ kvas truck. Alnus is looking around in the snow, a few paces from the scene.

15. Don’t waste your time, I’ll just hire somebody else at the next pub. I never liked him anyhow. Says Afanasy. I’m not looking for anybody, I’m hungry and there’s mushrooms near. Says Alnus. Plus I might find wood to repair your wagon.

16. I’d rather use Chinese wood, says Afanasy. Shh! I hear bees! Says Anna.

17. They are quiet, looking in different directions. Haji-Girei is smoking a pipe.

18. BLAAAGH! Says a voice off-screen. There’s the idiot. Says Afanasy. There’s whats left of your honey says Haji-Girei.

19. Rear view of Foma, bees still swarming around. Afanasy and Haji-Girei are wide-eyed with fear and amazement, staring at him/the reader. A m-m-monster! BLAAAGH he says.

20. They charge into the puddle and attack the swollen Foma from both sides. Foma is perfectly round and his tongue is the size of a horseshoe crab. His arms flop uselessly as he is pummeled in his puddle. The bear steals off with the beehive in the background.

21. GIANT ROCK MOVE! Shouts Haji-Girei. Afanasy gives the thumbs up, and they run off screen in opposite directions. BLAAAGH! Says Foma.

22. Anna appears. Foma, you’ll get sick in that puddle you know. BLAAAGH! Says Foma. Hah! That I’d like to see. They’ve never really been able to pull off the giant rock move.

23. Afanasy and Haji-Girei appear, rolling enormous boulders towards the “monster.” BLAAAGH! There are still bees swarming about. Anna watches, bemused. What happened to the beehive?

24. Lightning strikes over the hillside, stopping all activity. Everybody glows and jumps, or something.

25. Hey come over! I’ve got chicken feet! Comes a voice from over the hilltop. Hey, Alnus must have chicken feet! Says Afanasy. Hey it’s Foma says Haji-Girei.

26. Alnus is standing, pulling up his robe and looking down at his feet, which are chicken feet. I was kicking that piece of wood, when lightning hit me. It’s itchy. Now I smell like a chicken. Haji-Girei is dragging Foma by his ankle. Afanasy is not. Wow, you found wood!

27. No, it’s not wood, it’s a domovoi. A rotten one, probably from a witch or a villain of some stripe, says Haji-Girei. Baba Yaga! Says Afanasy. Probably says Alnus. Haji-Girei passes Alnus his pipe.

28. Lets get Alnus into his truck and see if he finishes turning into a chicken. I need kvas says Alnus. Yes, says Afanasy, lifting Alnus onto his shoulders. Foma says BLAAAGH.

29. Anna is loading the beehive onto the truck, Monak is barking at a bear fleeing into the distance. Afanasy asks her how she got the beehive back. I will tell you later. She says. Why is that piece of wood following you?

30. Closeup of the domovoi on little feet, skulking thru the snow.

31. Haji-Girei and Anna leap onto the truck. Afanasy tosses Alnus onto Monak. Rear view of domovoi, framed by terrorized Russians. BLAAAGH says Foma, writhing on the ground.

32. Afanasy picks up Foma and begins to swing him around. Get Monak hooked up, there! He cries.

33. Terrible idea, Afanasy! Says Anna, as he clonks the idol over using Foma as a croquet mallet. THUNK!

34. Lightning crashes! Every body glows!

35. Ha! Now look who has a chicken face! Laughs Afanasy. You idiot, the dog ran off. Now we have to pull the truck ourselves! Says Haji-Girei, Kvas! Says Alnus from inside the truck. Foma has a chicken face.

36. Get OUT of the truck! Lookie! Says Afanasy, pointing. Now there are five domovoi, marching expressionless and kind of cute. Like little salt shakers or something.